Sunday, September 27, 2009 Y
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The night are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss that pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry that tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my
Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on....
*I will always love you*
{{ 9/27/2009 12:03:00 AM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Tuesday, September 15, 2009 Y
Here I am.Typing out my letters to a few people.They will all be called No-One.But all different people.
Letter ONE:
It's been a damn long time since I spoke to you,or even seen you eh?How've you been?Well,I don't think you'll ever see this letter since I highly doubt I can muster up the courage to give it to you.
11th September 2009.I dreamt of you.Not a happy dream.Well,I never dream of happy dreams.It was a dream where you smiled sadly at me and waved,after which you faded away.I was forced to a graveyard where a column of people stood huddled over an open grave,weeping.I didn't need to see who lay in it,as I already knew.It was you.I woke up crying and weeping from my sleep.
Do you know how much it hurts to know that something bad would happen to you,yet not knowing when,where,how,and even worse,knowing that there was nothing I could do to save you.Hell,I would gladly take a bullet for you if it meant your happiness.After all,none would weep and none would mourn if i died.
I'm sure you've already guessed this but i do love you.After the pain of some people in my past,you were the one who drew me out of my shell truly and taught me the meaning of life,to live and let live.You are the one I dream about every night,the one who wrenches me crying from my sleep.
I'm not asking you to love me back,cos to me,even if you dont love me,I'll stand by you,supporting you and watching you be happy.All I want is for you to be happy,always.Yet theres this awful burning in my chest when I think of the happy memories and what will not be.I love you.
Everyday I wake up
Sweating,trembling,sobbing
In the cold sweat filled blankets
I grab around blindly in the darkness
For the heart I sent over to you
The very one you sent back
Apologetically
LETTER TWO:
Hey I know I really pissed you off today by prank smsing your friend,but he was the one who planted the idea in me.Besides,its not like I did any harm did I?I'm not saying what I did was right nor am I saying that what I did was not right.It was all just fun and more fun,honest.Well,whether you decide to forgive me,only you will truly know.
Whether or not you forgive me,thanks for being with me,being there for me.Thanks for putting up with my crap,nonsense and stupidity for such a long time.I thank you.
{{ 9/15/2009 09:23:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 Y
Number one.
I found out something new today.
SHE is with
HE.
Wonderfullness.
And I only found out just today.
Give me a pat on the back for finding out.
Number two.
My computer is finally
FIXED.
That means more blogging,playing and crying to the world.
Number three.
I wish someone would just
TAKE A FUCKING GUN AND SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD.
I'm feeling
GODAWEFULTERRIBLE right now.
And it hurts so bad.
Number four.
I wish I was like
kyliechan.
Pretty,happy,fun.Not like
ME.
LIONMAN RAWR.He better treat her good.
Or I'll come and steal her away.
I wish I could disappear.
Goodbye awful world.
{{ 9/08/2009 09:25:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Sunday, February 08, 2009 Y
i need help.
anyone free on febuary 13?
its gonna be a year soon.
a year since that day.
i dont know if i can control myself to that extend.
i dont know if i'll get out of that day alive and whole.
i dont know what can happen on that day.
and im not making any promises.
does anyone know how to train dogs?
my dad thinks Whisky's crazy.
he barks at anyone who gets too close to me.
possessive little fool.
im supposed to train him not to sleep on my bed.
and not to bark at everyone.
or out he goes.
"we're not having a crazy dog in this house" he says.
i really dont know what to do anymore.
{{ 2/08/2009 09:52:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Saturday, December 13, 2008 Y
I'm finally back in Singapore.
Well.
The Italy trip was...
Eventful.
But also quite boring.
Waywaywayway too much shopping.
Urgh.
At branded stores like Prada,Gucci ect.
Urgh.
Bloody boring.
It left me more or less sitting outside in the cold waiting for them idiots shopping.
Took quite alot of photos.
And i miss Singapore food.
Surprisingly.
All we had there was Ree Soto,Pasta or really really BAD pizza.
Urgh.
Aaron,Nicky and Marc still in Italy though.
Lucky bastards.
We're gonna go out again when they come back.
I hope.
Louis may still be sick.
Hope he gets well soon.
Ciao.
{{ 12/13/2008 08:21:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Monday, November 24, 2008 Y
All Guys Are Male Chauvinist Pigs!!
That's the declaration i have to this world.
Fine.
Didn't play very well today.
Noone really passed to me much.
And my whole mood was thrown off this afternoon.
He knows something i don't.
And hes not gonna tell me.
Fine.
But when i play.
Its like WHAM.
And there goes the shot.
Out goes the ball.
Right into the opponents hands.
And my team sighs.
I'm sorry im the only non-professional girl in the game.
I'm sorry im slow and cant shoot as well as you guys.
But it's not really gonna change the fact that you guys.
Are MALE.CHAUVINIST.PIGS.
Period.
And im sticking to that.
One wrong move.
Thats all it takes from ME to lose the trust from you guys.
2intercepted shots.
Yeah there im sorry.
But i DID succeed in the end.
And it hurts that noone treats girls seriously.
Not now.
Not ever.
Sexist bastards.
{{ 11/24/2008 10:16:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Tuesday, November 18, 2008 Y
how many times must i tell you im sorry before you forgive me
i really dont know why i bother about you so
everything is my fault,is it not?
my fault my parents are paranoid and cant trust you.
my fault i cant run fast enough or long enough for you.
my fault for asking you for all these.
do what you see fit.
if you truly want to end all these
if it would make you happy
then i say
sure
be my guest.
i just dont want to see you regret your decision.
{{ 11/18/2008 10:55:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 Y
Fuck.
Today is OFFICIALLY the worst day of my life.
My whole holiday is RUINED.
We were supposed to go for some history lecture after recess
But the 7 of us(me,tiziana,chermaine,jermima,nat saw,joanna,vanessa khoo)
Went back to class during recess
And stayed there
So we didnt follow the rest
Thus we were'nt at the "lecture"
Then after 100mins or so
2 prefects burst in telling us we're in fucking big trouble
And one of them sees my phone
And sees its on
Then we go to see the teachers
Get a fucking scolding
And have to go for DETENTION TOMORROW.
My chances of going for the japan trip is now lowered
I'm SOOOO happy.
How the FUCK am i supposed to survive a holiday without my PHONE
Why cant i just start the 3 month confiscation when school REOPENS
Its not even OUR fault we didnt know
I HATE prefects
And TEACHERS
So since i dont have a phone
Anyone who wants to contact me
Either drop me an email
Or tag my blog
Or drop me a message on MSN
Worst thing is
My parents REFUSE to help me get my SIM card back
What sort of parents are they
{{ 10/21/2008 09:41:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Sunday, September 28, 2008 Y
today was quite the busy and hectic one.
formula one racing started yesterday.
dad brought me down to the tracks with Hafiz's and Hafiz's gf,Petrina.
borrowed their passes to.
it was AWESOME.
even though it was damn hot,and i was sweating like crazy.
he was sweating more than me.
the suit is REAL thick.
and the car doesnt have air con.
live sauna.
petrina's a nice lady.
who accompanied me.
a kid.
we went to the track pits.
where we saw the other cars.
they were DAMN cool.
the practice runs were yesterday.
he took part in the Aston Martin support race.
and Hafiz was a bit annoyed and agitated cos they couldnt tell him what went wrong with his breaks.
poor him.
the real one was today.
he qualified,apparently.
i wanted to go.
didnt have enough passes.
so dad went with uncle david.
his car isnt that fast though=/
oh well.
i still support him^^
then theres Hamilton.
hes one year YOUNGER than Hafiz,will you believe it.
23 this year.
whoot.
crazy shit.
pro pro pro guy.
he was SO close to getting kicked out though.
anyways.
hope they both do well together in the races tomorrow.
{{ 9/28/2008 12:21:00 AM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 Y
its been quite a while since i last blogged.
exams around the corner.
starting on the 23 with history and chinese.
urgh.
worst 2 subjects.
really cant stand it liao.
im gonna go CRAZY soon with all the mugging.
getting more and more unproductive by the day.
xian i tell you.
i just want to fucking kill myself soon.
and then theres Andrew.
who i still cant forget.
and it hurts when i think about him.
http://www.fictionpress.com/~ultimateshodanBroken Promises.
rate.
review.
comment.
thats him.
tribute to him.
ciaos.
{{ 9/17/2008 08:46:00 PM -
Her heart is still bleeding}
